Tell Someone How You Feel

I feel like I'm emotionally stunted sometimes. My colleague at RIHS comments about how not much gets to me. She feels like she gets ruffled and I just don't. I attribute some of that to the calm, respectful teachers that I have had. I always seemed to work harder for the professors who didn't scream at me. As an educator, I am creating a persona based on those I work with and observe. The good and the bad, I have an uncanny ability to absorb traits I want and expell the ones that don't fit my personal style.

During marching band I'm tough, I have expectations, but my voice comes over the soundsystem in low, calm voice. I speak slowly with purpose and thought. In concert ensemble rehearsals, I can wait on a group to settle even during ISAT week when they're burned out. I am slowly teaching them how to get ready without anyone shouting. I'm firm in my policies, but not exactly empathetic. I'm probably need to work on that.

So in an effort to be a little less emotionally closed off I saw an opportunity today and took it. I leave my Facebook and Twitter pages up in the background most of the time. I like the opportunity to read what other teachers(and my music theater friends) are doing throughout the day.

Today I noticed a friend from college was on FB chat. We weren't the closest, but he's always been someone I respected. He's currently at Indiana University getting a Master's in the Horn Performance and auditioning for pro gigs. I think that's incredibly cool. I had a class to get to, but I left him this message, "just thought I'd tell you. You're one of the coolest guys I know. I haven't been real impressed with a lot people I went to school with, but you're awesome.That is all." Didn't want to be too heavy you know.

He replied, "haha thanks kyle, that really means a lot. you're a good guy, and I can tell you're going to succeed in music ed." It made me feel good to actually try to communicate with someone, not for school or theater or work. Just to tell someone that they're doing things right. I think I just grew a little bit, emotionally, now if I could figure out how to get a little taller too...