So today was a treat for me and some of the kids who really enjoy playing in HS band. We had a guest conductor, Dr. Mike Fansler from Western Illinois University. It was like going back in time, yet I feel so much wiser. I want to go back and redo a lot from my time in undergrad.
He was one of my college band directors and my academic advisor. So many of the things I've learned have came from this great conductor, educator, and musician. However, I didn't sound quite like that in college. I fought him on some stupid thing and didn't practice enough. I should just send him an email that says, "you were right about everything. I'm sorry. KF" Would've, could've, should've doesn't get us very far does it? It really makes me excited about the next steps in my life.
This is the first time I've seen him conduct in three years and nice to see some things I do(and some things I should be doing) I want to get to that level of artistry, but I realize the same people I knew years ago might not understand that about me. Oh well I guess I've grown up a bit. Maybe that's the real reason professors tell us to teach for a few years before getting our Master's, to grow up.
It disappoints me that the band still wasn't all that quiet. Sure they were much better than when I was on the podium or when my colleague is, but it still just had an undercurrent of bad attitude. I feel like that's poisoning me. It's just expected and I can't get my mind around that. The kids tell me I don't fit in and I don't think that's bad. I wish some of them would break the mold too. They deserve it, Fansler commented on how there were some great things in rehearsal. He's right I feel bad that those kids and the greatness they have is stifled. It's not "cool."
I've been around the country a bit over the last few months and I'm starting to wonder where life will take me. Lots of opportunities are out there. The brave go get them wherever they may be. Just look at Dr. Fansler's bio. Virginia, New York, Tennessee, Illinois. He went and got what he wanted. I hope I have the courage to do the same. My future students will benefit from it, whomever they may be.
Thanks Dr. Fansler. You are right and I can't wait to get out there and try my best to create my own story and successes.